Don’t Be Her: Spotting a Down-Low Dude Before It’s Too Late
Tasha thought she had found her forever. Jerome was everything she dreamed of in a man—handsome, successful, charming, and attentive in all the right ways. He called her beautiful like he meant it, made her laugh like no one else could, and had her feeling like the luckiest woman alive. They’d been dating for almost a year, and she was already imagining wedding bells and babies. But there were moments—little flashes of something—that didn’t sit right with her. She brushed them off, telling herself she was overthinking. Love has a way of doing that, convincing you to ignore what you don’t want to see.
It was the way he guarded his phone, the constant group trips with the same tight-knit group of male friends, and the whispers she overheard at the barbershop when she went with him once. He was a little too defensive when she asked innocent questions, like why his best friend, Darren, seemed to know more about their relationship than anyone else. She told herself she was being paranoid. After all, this was Jerome—the man who looked at her like she was his everything. What could she possibly be worried about?
The truth hit her out of nowhere, a punch to the gut she didn’t see coming. It started with a random DM from a stranger. A woman who said she thought Tasha should know what her man was up to. At first, she thought it was some kind of mistake, maybe a bitter ex trying to stir up drama. But then there were pictures—Jerome and Darren, not just looking close but intimately close. Tasha’s world crumbled in an instant. She confronted Jerome, and at first, he denied it, calling her crazy and insecure. But the truth can’t hide for long. He finally admitted it. He’d been living a double life, and she was caught in the crossfire of his lies.
Tasha felt humiliated and betrayed, but more than that, she felt unsafe. She hadn’t just trusted Jerome with her heart—she trusted him with her body. She realized she had been so focused on the fairy tale that she hadn’t protected herself. She’d ignored the signs, the red flags she tried to paint green because she wanted to believe in love.
If you’re reading this, don’t be Tasha. Love is beautiful, but it should never come at the cost of your intuition or your health. Protect yourself by paying attention to the man you’re with. Ask questions when something doesn’t feel right, even if it’s uncomfortable. Watch how he moves—secrecy, defensiveness, or unexplained closeness with certain people might mean there’s more going on than he’s telling you. And never let anyone make you feel guilty for wanting clarity.
Get tested regularly and make it a non-negotiable part of your relationship. If he resists or downplays it, that’s your cue to walk away. Talk to someone you trust if you suspect something is off, and don’t be afraid to leave if your peace and safety are at risk. You deserve someone who can love you fully and honestly, without secrets or lies. It’s not just about love—it’s about valuing yourself enough to demand respect and truth in return.
Has then been your experience? Want to discuss this more? Hit me up.